A Frosty Scoop

I got me the story of the century, so I have. I’m gonna blow this one wide open for the whole world to see, you see! I can see the headlines now: Pondelia Whimsy Makes Home Out of Frosted Window Glass: Does Money Literally Drive Folks Crazy? More at 11!

Of course, there won’t be more at 11…that’s something people say on television and I’m a print media kind of guy. But I want the big scoop on Pondelia’s new place, and I won’t stop digging until I hit Ireland, see. They don’t call me Scoop McGee for nothing, that’s for sure. They call me that because it’s the name my mother gave me; she was a forward-thinking woman.

Anyway, I hear tell that this is a veritable palace of frosted glass, all sliding doors and icy walls. These affluent folks and their weird houses, am I right? That’s why I write articles for Affluent Folks and Their Weird Houses, Am I Right? And also the sister publication Rich People and Their Crazy Homes. I just finished the Walker case about the oil barons who tried building a house out of plastic and dumping it into the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a giant snorkel attached to the chimney for air.

Shame, that is. Dang shame. Don’t think they’re recovered the bodies yet. But this could do wonders for the frosted glass industry, wonders I tell ya! It’s all been tinted glass lately, tinted window glass this and tinted window that, tinted windows over every office in Melbourne. I remember writing about in Commercial Tinted Windows of Melbourne Monthly, the magazine that covers all the latest trends in commercial tinted glass.

This Pondelia lady is going to tell me all the secrets. I’m gonna blow this story wide open, and then maybe they’ll let me back in the Journalism Society. Kicked out for ‘violating ethics’ and ‘writing about any old garbage’. It’s a scandal, a scandal, I tell you!

-Scoop McGee