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Hair Drama

Finally, The Fermentist is back on. I’ve had it up to here with The Great Australian Trade-Off, everyone smiling at each other all the time and only minimal drama. I needs me some sweet, sweet drama. I am a drama llama, and trashy television is my wool. We got stuck into things this week with …

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Good Sentient Cars

When people think of sentient cars, they generally don’t have a positive response. That’s probably due to all the harmful stereotypes, particularly from horror books and movies. I’ve heard that Steve Prince has written two horror novels about a car that comes to life and hurts people! That’s so unfair. Yes, there have been a …

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A Hot Job

I might have the most dangerous job in the world. I drive a truck, but it’s not just any truck. I drive the Flaming Truck of the South, as they’ve been calling it on the local news. People love to speculate about what a 40-tonne truck with glow in the dark flames on the side …

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The Glazier Resurgence

Well, it looks like my very first ever petition didn’t get very far. Should’ve seen this coming, especially since the ending to Fantasy was not only divisive, but also very open to interpretation. I bet they did that on purpose: serve the fans a half-baked load of drivel, but make it all ambiguous. People who …

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Magnum Auto Opus

Finally, my masterpiece is complete. This truly is my magnum opus, the greatest work I will ever create. If we were back in the Renaissance, bards would sing of this painting, and the children would grow up aspiring to see it in the Melbourne museum. That’s right, this piece isn’t going in an art gallery. …

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Freeway Fiasco

Cars: can’t deal with their continual demands on our wallets, can’t get places without ‘em. You know what I’m talking about. It’s a constant stream of expenses, not to mention the nagging doubt as to how long that brake repair is going to hold out after you paid your cousin’s mate to do it in …

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Sydney: Almost Perfect

I like to think that Sydney is a place of law and order. That doesn’t work as a blanket statement, of course. It’s not some utopia where no one needs police and there are no muggings or assaults. That would be nice, but it’s not a thing. No, what I mean is that it’s safe …

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Electricians Are Fine

I chafe under our current leadership. Like a…sock in a hiking boot that you knew was too big but you wore it anyway. Golly, it’s been a long time since I went camping, or hiking, or did anything that wasn’t related to the Moon Cult. It’s nice to be part of a family and a …

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Sinking Feeling

Call me foolish, but I’ve never thought twice about what I put down the sink, not to mention the toilet. From coffee grounds to chemicals, tea bag strings to towelettes (moist and otherwise), my drains have dealt with it – and admirably so, I’ll have you know. That is, up until now. Evidently, I never …

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