To this day, I still laugh about this audition tape I received for the main role of the magical play that I am the director of. It was abysmal. The girl was from Melbourne, Australia and she was probably the worst actress I’ve ever seen in my life. The monologue she read out sounded like some sort of sick joke, and it was clear she hadn’t done her homework on what the play was about at all. This was six years ago now and I’m still laughing. The play, which has been the most successful in the world for the last six years, still has international shows every week. I highly doubt she will be performing in anything like it, even six years on.
Whilst I remember her audition tape for how horrific it was, I also remember it because the post production services she used on the video were awesome. The special effects, albeit completely wrong for the theme of the play, were so sharp and crisp that I was literally in awe. I’ve never sent a video response to an audition tape before, but I had to send her one because I wanted to know so badly who the production company was and how I could get in touch. I wanted to use their services to create global ads for the play because I knew without a doubt that the videos would make ticket sales skyrocket. It’s not like we desperately needed a video production company near Melbourne to do our advertising for us, but they were just so talented that I desperately wanted them on board.
Unfortunately, the girl who auditioned never replied to my video response. I guess she didn’t take well to me calling her talentless and her monologue embarrassing. To be fair, I probably wouldn’t have taken it very well either, but someone had to tell her. I did her a favour. At least now she can pursue a career that she’s right for.