The Electrical Queen

Jennifer is THE worst, a worst among many and varied worsts. If there was a gold medal at the Worst Olympics, Jennifer would be the one getting the perfect ten from the judges and standing on the podium, flashing her gold medal while everyone pelts her with popcorn and bottles, on account of her being the worst.

I just want to say Jennifer is newer than me. I was here a whole year before her, but everyone started calling me ‘one-N Jen’, which turned into ‘Wonjen’, which just became ‘Wen’. My name is Jen!

Oh, but little miss rich…girl, she’s the one whose dad owns all the electrician companies in Bayside and beyond. Yeah, and I’m the headmistress of a school for kitten-puppy hybrid orphans, which makes about as much sense. How does she even get away with this? You’d think people would realise that there’s no mystery mogul who owns all of the electrician companies. They mostly just own themselves. Like, why would you sell your business to a mogul when you could just run it yourself? It’s not like electricians are an endangered breed…that’s only gonna happen when the sun switches off.

Also, just as a side note, the one time I tried to be friendly I greeted her by saying “Halo Jennifer, ha ha ha.” And she didn’t get it! Not the brightest…bulb, is she? Ha ha ha.

But Jennifer gets all the attention because of her great hair and flirty laugh and her father’s supposed electrician empire and I hate her so much. Like, she doesn’t even know anything about her subject. I asked her in front of the whole class the other day how many volts were in the lamp she made in tech class, and she panicked and was like, “um, well, my lamp is special in that it uses way more volts than usual, so…three thousand.”

Wow, about ten times more than the strongest industrial bulbs? Yeah, Jennifer. I’ve looked up residential electricians and the work they do, and if an electrician was there, they probably would’ve been forced to take your word for it and tackle you to the ground before your gajllion-volt bulb goes supernova and tears a hole in space-time, you liar.